THOUGHTS.

Enjoy this collection of my thoughts, they came out to be similar to a poem. I hope that this helps you to not feel so alone if you are going through something similar.

 

Growing up you are always taught to be nice.

And you are always taught to be kind.

But what they don’t teach you is,

the kindest hearts fight the hardest battles.

You grow up learning about superheroes,

And maybe secretly wishing to be one;

But the true heroes of the story, end up alone.

That’s been the hardest pill to swallow.

Would I rather be kind and alone,

Or like everyone else and have friends?

I feel more than everyone around me,

And I hurt more than everyone else.

I fall in love with the people that mean the most to me.

But I dare not ask for anyone to do the same for me.

I feel very hallow in my chest these days.

‘Cause, I just don’t cry tears anymore.

I just don’t feel pain like I used to anymore.

It all just feels the same now.

It’s as normal as the air that I breathe.

I just rant and ramble until I’m black and blue.

But I can’t even break down anymore.

In my mind, I am screaming out.

On the outside, I continue to smile.

I’m in a million pieces, scattered on the floor.

But I just shove so them back into place.

There are so many broken parts that ache when I walk.

But I just keep it to myself so I won’t hurt anyone else.

I just collect all the pain now, I throw it in a bag.

It all just looks the same to me now.

It’s just another notch on my belt.

It’s just another whisper in my ear.

Another brick to toss over my shoulder,

Another lie that I’ve heard before.

I just save it for later to induce my anger.

I will just save it for a day that I need it.

I lie awake at night because I can’t turn off my thoughts.

There are some days that can’t leave my bed.

Some days I wish I could just forget what happened.

Other days that I feel completely okay.

Sometimes even a compliment cuts like a knife.

Sometimes, I don’t want to be left alone with my own thoughts.

It’s a dark place to be but it’s all I know.

It feels like a rollercoaster that I can’t get off.

And all I really want is to be happy for once.

But don’t ask me where I’m going, ’cause I don’t know.

Don’t ask me what I’m doing here, ’cause I don’t know.

Don’t ask me for my name, ’cause I don’t know.

The only thing I know is this pain and these broken parts.

Just call me “No Name.”

© N.M

 

Gifs from Tumblr.com

 

Xo,

Nina.