Hey everyone! I know it has been a while. As promised, here is my new blog post. Yay, it’s finally here! I am going to be honest, it has been hard to write to you guys. I pretty much treat my website like an online diary and I tell you guys about all the crazy things that are happening in my life. It’s been really hard lately trying to find the words and trying to remain positive for you guys. I struggled with how much I should say and what should remain private. I could have just recited a list of all my problems and frustrations but I think that this way is better and more important for the message that I am sending out today. I have endured a lot of sleepless nights and worrying to no end about so many different things, feeling like my life was out of my control but finally, things are starting to get better.
In one of my latest blog posts, I was telling you guys that I was in the process of trying to find an apartment. I just moved into my new apartment which is a lot nicer and bigger than my last apartment. I was out with my friend one night and I was introduced to few new opportunities that happened out of the blue and I’m kind of excited to see what could be. One thing that I discovered in my 23 years living on this earth is that sometimes life has to go from bad to worse to downright ugly and everything will blow up in your face leaving you feeling hopeless and trapped in a box; however, if you can weather the storm, stare at every problem in the face, life has no choice but to get better. As cliché as it may sound, sometimes all the bad stuff has to happen first to make room for the good and unexpected.
There’s still a lot to be done and rectified in my life but everything is slowly progressing in a more positive direction. Every day that I wake up I feel like I am given the choice of whether or not I want to continue to live my life. I feel like every day brings a new challenge my way and I have to decide on how far I am willing to go to build a life for myself. I grew up hearing “no” way to often and being told that my dreams were out of reach or that I may not be good enough and when you hear those statements over and over, it’s hard to think the opposite. When that voice finally faded away, it was replaced by a new one in my head telling me, “no”, and I realized that it was my own. But here I am stepping forward, both feet diving in towards my dreams with no one holding my hand or telling me, “you can do this”, there’s only me encouraging myself and it’s okay. I know I have one friend that will always support me and so I will always be there for her but she can’t go through these waters with me, I have to swim alone and be at peace with the unknown.
I decided to name this update “Adult Life Pt. II” because I don’t think the older generation realizes what we are up against, how much what they have said or done has impacted our lives and our future. I always grew up hearing how much harder their life was but never felt like my pain was even acknowledged or seen as relevant to their life. Parents, a young child inviting you into a conversation about something that they deem important, are inviting you into their world, and that shouldn’t be taken lightly because kids grow up fast. You will realize that they don’t remember just the good times like you do, they remember being constantly told that their problems or experiences were inadequate in comparison to yours or that they were “too sensitive” or “too silly” for the practical world. Those same children who grew tired of waiting to feel loved and important moved on into the world to get what they need somewhere else. When things get hard, they won’t reach out to you for help because they will always remember how many times they tried and you weren’t there. It’s important to be able to teach a child how to be strong without breaking their creative, resilient spirit in the process.
Well, that’s all I have for you guys today. I reflect on the past in order to step forward into the future. I’m telling you guys first hand, I am going to end up writing one heck of a book one day and it will be because of you and your constant support and patience with me. I do these posts for you guys and by reading them you are helping me. I hope whoever stops by to read this post leaves my website realizing that they aren’t alone and that there are real people out there that go through some of the same issues that you do. If you liked today’s post feel free to like it, share it, and follow me for more posts. Only good things to come! Much love and respect, always.
All gifs used originated from google images.
Xo,
Nina.
The nina diaries 
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