I used to struggle so much with the Thanksgiving holiday because of history and I didn’t want to be taking part in a celebration of a lie and I wanted to honor the native’s of the land that we now occupy. So most of the time instead of saying “Thanksgiving” I say “Happy Native’s Day” or I at least try to save space to recognize what the day really is. I have also since discovered the African-American history of why we celebrate “thanksgiving” and express gratitude because it was a celebration of what we have overcome as a people and that’s why we come together as a family the way that we do every year. I’m also finding more and more to make anything whatever you want it to be. It’s okay to acknowledge the bad but also embrace the good that is currently around you.
(it just seemed fitting to put a gossip girl pic :D)
I got to hang out with some of my cousins this Thanksgiving and with my friends this weekend for Friendsgiving. I went roller skating for the first time since I was like 9 or 10 years old. I used to fear when my cousins wanted to go skating, bowling, or anything that I could feel slight embarrassment because in the past I somehow was always made to feel worse about myself. But I realized that I conquered that bully a long time ago when I realized how well I handled what happened at the skate rink.
I was so rusty when it came to skating and slowly it started coming back to me. However the guy gave me skates that were a size too big because my actually size pinched my toes. The skates felt too heavy for my ankles and they were two different vibrant shoe-string colors and sandalwood brown; the ugly skates that I could have been given. And as I start to skate I realize how wobbly I am on the floor and I almost fall a couple of times but I stay my ground. However my balance comes from under me when someone skates in between me and my cousins and they were skating by me making sure I was ok. As I hit the ground I covered my mouth and I found myself laughing and when I opened my eyes there were 5 guys circled around me asking if I was okay. Then one separates from the others, reaches for my hand to lift me up. He repeatedly asked if I was okay and said that he would help me off the rink if I wanted to sit down but I told him that I wanted to keep skating.
As the night continued I gained more courage to skate more and I took breaks in between when my ankles started to hurt. The guy from earlier skated by me and smiled. I kept seeing him throughout the night skating, dancing, and doing tricks with his friends. Sometimes skating and talking to to other girls. I started to enjoy myself more with my girl cousin. We were dancing on the sidelines in are skates, making videos, taking selfies, just enjoying the moment and for a moment I really forgot about everything else that’s been going on and I was finally relaxed and vibing out.
I saw the skate guy a couple more times throughout the night and then he disappeared. As we were heading out he was seated towards the exit and was looking my way. I flipped my hair and kept walking. My older female cousin said that I should have been more aggressive and gone after him but I explained to her that I don’t chase men and he had the whole night to make a move and if he couldn’t approach me on his own it wouldn’t be worth it.
FRIENDS·GIV·ING /ˌfrendsˈɡiviNG/ a Thanksgiving celebration with one’s friends, as opposed to one’s family.
This weekend I got to hang with my girls and have a tv show marathon and eat good food and just be. I am so grateful to have experienced my 3rd Friendsgiving. It’s great to be able to spend time with your ‘chosen’ family and share laughs and enjoy each other’s company. We started this new tv show together. 2/3 of the group had already started watching it but we were willing to watch from the beginning again because the show is so good. I honestly would not mind recommending for anyone to watch the show “The Bold Type.”
I think that it was the perfect show to watch together about 3 young women discovering their place in the world and making decisions that are right in pursuit of their dreams. We really enjoyed watching the show together and talking about it and I just love the sense of community and feeling like you can share something you really enjoy with someone you care about and if you both enjoy it, it’s no longer just your thing, it’s something you both get to share. Those moments are so special.
One thing that this weekend taught me is I want the best of both worlds. I want the small intimate quiet nights in with the people I love but I also want the wild, exciting, fun moments with the people I love because we deserve to feel happy to be alive. ‘Cause if we don’t then what’s the point?
Well that’s all the time that I have.
XO,
Nina
The nina diaries 
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