Can’t Fly With One Wing

I’ve been debating on talking about this because it’s so ugly and it’s been affecting me so and making it hard for me to sleep at night and maybe that’s exactly why I should be talking about it because somebody else could be going though the same thing. I’ve been being targeted/harassed whatever you would like to call it since the beginning of this month and I’ve tried to ignore it. I’ve tried to remove myself from the situation and it’s only gotten worse.

I finally told my manager about the situation and in the beginning he was sympathetic it seemed but as the situation progressed it seemed like he didn’t want to escalate the issue and I found myself having to repeatedly come to my manager and make sure we weren’t being placed in the same work area so the problems wouldn’t continue and thankfully my work friends were around and getting involved as well to make sure this guy wasn’t coming around me.

It’s so exhausting to be a woman sometimes. To feel like you don’t have a safe space and to feel so unprotected. To be a black woman in America. Yes I am going to say it. It is exhausting. To day in and day out exist and feel unprotected and targeted for no fucking reason and having to explain to another male why it’s wrong and that person deciding to do nothing and fighting the daily urge to not beat the shit out of the person that is now causing you new trauma when you haven’t even healed from the old trauma that you are still dealing with. It’s not fair. And people will never understand what it’s like to fucking exist in my shoes unless I keep writing this blog and this why I do this.

The world is ugly enough on its own. So please heal. Don’t be a trash human and take your pain out on other people. Go to therapy. Do the shadow work. Look into somatic healing. Do whatever you need to do to leave the world better than how saw it before. Please heal. 💗

Love always.

Xo,

Nina