Back To The Jungle

Hello my lovelies, how I’ve missed you.

To say that the drama at work has come to a close would be a complete lie. As it turns out someone people never grow the fuck up no matter how old they get. Some are married with kids acting like it’s high school all over again when they come to work; enlisting other people to lie to and manipulate to keep the drama going.

Honestly this is why I would love to be able to have my own business one day. At least having your own company you can professionally show them the door cause there will always be someone that tries some bull. I won’t go into grave detail as to what all is going on. I’ve talked to my manager again about the new drama and I’m all talked out and it seems like he has become lax about the issue and didn’t want to believe the two women I mentioned could possibly be behaving the way that I expressed but stated he would speak with them and put an end to it if that was the case.

I am beginning to come to terms with the idea that I shouldn’t get comfortable in any job that I choose because in reality I don’t want to stay in any job forever and it seems like every time I’m not focusing enough on my craft, not putting in the time, drama starts stirring at whatever job I’m currently in and it’s always to a boiling point to which I’m willing to walk away because nobody and nothing is worth my peace of mind.

And I would feel so bad about quitting jobs or not staying at one for long enough but you know what who gives a fuck? It’s my life. And the only reason why I feel judgement is because of the nagging voice in my head that I got from someone who thought less of me. When in reality nobody knows the future and she most certainly does not know mine so who cares if I quit another job or another 10 if I decide that’s what is right for me? I am on the road to still figuring out who I am going to be and what my life is going to look like.

I am turning 30 this year and I plan to live my life with no regrets. It’s my choice if I decided that I don’t want to stay at any job that doesn’t believe me when I say I’m being mistreated. I don’t want to put up with emotional abuse from anyone. I’ve felt so disconnected from my passion, my music and everything for so long. I think it’s because of everything that’s happened. I’ve had to move twice this year. I’ve lost friendships. Cut off family. I had some health scares. It’s been a lot of tears, pain, and healing that’s been happening. And I’m so grateful for the love and support of my partner. He truly takes care of me when I need it the most.

It’s just been so hard to pursue any of it but I’m not giving up when I’ve come this far. Something tells me I’ll be coming back strong soon. On a positive note I’m finally starting to get some of my childhood memories back. Some of the good ones. I haven’t remembered any of it. My boyfriend said I would and he was right. That makes me happy and I feel like I am making progress healing my trauma and that’s enough for me, for now. I will update you guys on my music progress once I restart I promise!

Love always.

Xo,

Nina