MY TRUTH.

Hey guys,

I just wanted to give you a quick update on what’s been happening. I had to be honest with my job about a coworker and his sexual comments towards me and racial ones that had been going on for months.

I had repeatedly talked to him about his behavior telling him the first time that it made me uncomfortable and that he should keep things professional. I let him know that the racial jokes and political stances that he often wanted to bring up I didn’t care for either and the last thing I wanted was for him to lose his job but I also didn’t want to continue working somewhere for 6 months and I’m dealing with sexual harassment.

I was asked why I didn’t come forward sooner and I feel like that’s always the question that everyone asks. I told them I thought I was handling it. Because he had stopped saying and doing things to make me uncomfortable for a time then he would start up again and I had to repeatedly tell him to stop and that I had a boyfriend and he was a married man.

It also brought up some old trauma for me that I’ve been trying to heal from since childhood and I realized that there was a connection between the two. I was silenced as a child about what I was experiencing because my mom didn’t want people to know her secret and the poor decisions she had made involving me as a child. I had to recognize the correlation between the two. Me not being able to speak my truth as a child for years and protecting people that should not have been protected in the first place to now still doing it in my 20s and that has to stop.

My mother married a child predator and she used me to do it. And she scolded me for wanting to tell anyone that I was afraid of him that I was uncomfortable and what she had done. He molested his 13 year old step daughter and had to register as a sex offender. He married my mother and then tried to get me to call him my father and did his best to get close to me when I was 13 years old. I was not allowed to wear anything “revealing” as a child whenever she would take me to visit him so he would not be tempted. She believed he deserved a second chance because she is a Christian and God forgives.

She will never get another chance in my life ever again. She has chosen that man. That life. Other men, and everything else under the Sun before me. That ends today. Me caring about her feelings about me telling the truth ends today. That little girl that has been shackled by fear and pain for 16 years is now set free and it feels damn good. I’ve been thinking about talking more about this and everything that happened because it is a story worth telling especially if it helps someone else.

I made a video about it. If you want to watch it: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8RvKbAR/

If you’ve gone through something like this you’re not alone and it does get better once you free yourself. You speak your truth and you don’t allow anyone to have that power over you anymore.

Love always.

Xo,

Nina.