I Get the Villains Now

Because being ✨good✨didn’t get me a damn thing.

Some people dream of being the hero.

The star. The success story.

Me? I just wanted to live my life doing what I loved. I wanted to sing, to write, to build something of my own—without being dragged through the mud for it.

But life had other plans.

I gave up a $20/hr job that was destroying my mental health. I prayed for better before I left—literally begged God for a softer landing. I applied for dozens of jobs, followed up like I was supposed to. Got ignored, ghosted, or talked down to for even calling.

And I’m still here. Scraping together plans, ideas, hope—trying to keep a vision alive in a world that doesn’t care how hard I work for it.

And honestly? The world feels like it’s going to hell anyway. I felt the shift at work the moment the new president was elected. The energy changed. The way I was treated changed. The words became bolder, the racial undertones sharper—until they weren’t undertones anymore. I considered suing. I really did. But my boyfriend still works there. I couldn’t risk them retaliating against him just to punish me. That’s the kind of world we live in. Where doing what’s right could cost you and the people you love. So I left. But I’ll never be silent again.

Let me say this loud:

It shouldn’t be this hard to be a creative!

To be a person with passion.

To want something more than clocking in and out just to keep the lights on.

We shouldn’t have to hustle ‘til we’re fried and still come home broke, wondering what happened to our 20s… or our 30s… or our lives.

And don’t even get me started on Instagram.

I’ve spent the last month watching people flaunt their picture-perfect lives, claiming they’ve got the cheat codes to growth and engagement—but only if you pay up. Others brag about their six-figure content journeys, and meanwhile I’m just trying to get one reel not to tank. I’ve been losing followers left and right. Maybe it’s because I’m being too honest online. Maybe it’s because I told people straight-up: engage with my content if you claim you support me.

But that dashboard doesn’t lie.

It shows me exactly when my posts reach my entire audience—and y’all still don’t engage? I’m watching people I thought were “friends” or “family” (the ones I haven’t deleted yet) scroll past me like I don’t exist. So let me say this with love and a lot of rage:

If you see me but choose not to support me—why the fuck are you still following me?

It’s been real. But I think I’m entering my fuck it era.

My villain era.

The one where I stop trying to prove anything to people who never clapped for me in the first place. The one where I hit “delete” and keep it moving.

I’ve given this content thing a good shot. I’ve put myself out there more in the last few months than I have in years. I’ve cried. I’ve healed. I’ve screamed into pillows and whispered affirmations and told myself to “just keep going.”

But I’m tired now.

So yeah, I’m going back to work. I need something stable while I rebuild behind the scenes. Maybe I won’t be online as much. Maybe that’s a good thing. Because I’ve seen the truth in people.

And I’ll be honest—I get the villains now.

Because they didn’t start out evil.

They started out like me—too kind, too hopeful, too trusting.

Until life taught them otherwise.

So if you feel like me—angry, done, over it—you’re not alone.

You’re not crazy.

You’re just awake.

And this? This is the part of the story where everything changes.

Stay tuned, love always.

Xo,

Nina.